Dear, Newcastle... Love, Sofia

Dear Sofia on January 23^rd, 2023,

You have no idea how significant these next five months will be…

I do not think enough words exist to describe how grateful I am that I took this chance. I can recall the day on which I submitted my study abroad application. When people asked me where I was going to study, I’d reply with “Well I don’t know if I am for sure going yet, but Newcastle, England!” The idea of committing to something so life-altering and out of character for me was petrifying.

Even after finally committing, I was STILL unsure. Why leave the life I am so content and comfortable with? Do I really want to put myself through a major life change?

Yet here I am, almost at the end of my program, and I do not regret a thing.

I now understand that I had to do this to grow. The life I was living at Loyola, although enjoyable, confined me into a very compact, comfortable bubble. Study abroad was the opportunity I needed to finally pop it.

At first, Newcastle did not appear to be anything too special. Before exploring it in more depth, I felt as though I could have been in any random city. I hadn’t yet felt like I was truly in England. however, this mindset quickly changed and I was experiencing and enjoying all Newcastle had to offer in no time.

Often times when you hear about someone who has studied abroad, they will break it down in phases. Typically, the first week or two will be filled with excitement, energy, and fun. I quickly made friends and we had the time of our lives trekking around the city and discovering new pubs to enjoy. Life was fun and the transition appeared to be smooth so far. I can recall being incredibly proud of myself for not crying once that first week. I can be a bit of a crybaby, as I tend to get emotional for small reasons at times, so not crying was a huge win for me.

Once we began adjusting to classes and I got sick from all the fun, I found myself in a rut. I missed every single person in my life and I missed America. When I was sick I quickly got frustrated. I could not comprehend why pharmacies here did not sell liquid cold medicine or hydrogen peroxide: basic items I could quickly find at a CVS or Walgreens in the States. During that illness, I can recall sitting in A&E (“accident and emergency”) in the hospital because I was not yet registered with a doctor. My program coordinator, Grace sat with me, waiting until I was seen by a doctor. She watched as a broke down in tears, missing my mom, wishing I was home in my own, comfortable, familiar bed while I didn’t feel well. I felt anger towards the U.K. They did everything differently and, in that moment, different felt wrong.

These ups and downs of study abroad are very common. Not every day or even every moment within each day is going to feel positive. I would wake up feeling great some days, and very homesick and sad on others. This is part of the experience.

But eventually, the positive moments start to outweigh the negative moments.

I have made the most wonderful memories, with beautiful photos to capture it all… that is what life is all about.

These memories, trips, laughs, relationships, and most importantly, different forms of self-growth are the aspects of my study abroad experience that will stick with me forever.

I am constantly joking with people about how secondary education can be while studying abroad. When I am home and someone asks me what I learned while I was studying abroad, I’m not going to list all the feminist philosophers I read about, or how to define psychopathy. I’ll think about the life experiences I indulged in. My mind will immediately go to travel (group and independent), learning about and experiencing different cultures, forming significant and close friendships, and so much more.

The friendships I have made are perhaps one of the most meaningful aspects of this journey. It never occurred to me many months before this that I would be leaving in June with six new best friends. These girls are people that I have probably passed by on campus dozens of times, yet I never knew them personally to recognize them and say hello. This Newcastle friendship will now be brought back to Loyola, where we can continue our relationships in a previous, yet familiar and comforting setting. I cannot thank the universe enough for convincing each of these girls to study at Newcastle during this particular semester and bringing all of us together.

I will forever be proud of how my independence and self-reliance were tested while abroad. I have always been a pretty independent person my whole life, yet I never thought that I could handle this level of independence and at such a young age as well. I have learned that these are the types of experiences that build independence and strengthen character. My understanding of the world has broadened immensely, and I cannot wait to continue to explore this aspect of myself in future travel endeavors.

Perhaps one of the most important learning experiences study abroad has fostered within me is the ability to realize my own potential. Never did I think I would be capable of handling this type of large-scale change. Not only have I demonstrated that I am capable, but that I continue to function well and successfully adapt to my surroundings.

Now…with all of these life alterations experienced, what does this mean for my life when I return to the U.S.?

I often hear many students who have studied abroad speak about a phenomenon called “reverse culture shock.” Essentially, this is an emotional and psychological period where one is learning how to readjust back to life before they left the country for an extended period of time. Typically, the early stages of this experience can be defined by frustration, anger, loneliness, or longing for the life you left. You may feel as though your loved ones do not understand your experiences and how you have changed as a person. Yet, you must persist, and eventually, you will once again readjust and notice yourself integrating newfound knowledge from study abroad into your life moving forward.

I am incredibly excited to go home: I miss my mom, pets, brother, the simplicity in my routines, and all the tiny things I took for granted when I left. Yet, with this comes a strange sensation that these familiarities won’t all feel the same when I get back. I understand the ways in which I have flourished and truly discovered the kind of person I am, and this might be difficult to convey in the simpler life I lived previously.

Despite these concerns of reverse culture shock and thoughts of “what do I do now” that I have experienced this incredible and unique circumstance, I am exhilarated for what the future has to hold and how my abroad experience will show up in my everyday life. I believe impending endeavors within my academic, social, and work lives will be impacted for the better by these changes…

Newcastle, thank you for everything. I love you, and I’ll miss you.

Love,

Sofia on April 27^th, 2023.